Jan. 3, 2021

Don’t ask unless you want to know.

But we did ask, and you told us.

“What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in 2020?”

The question appeared toward the end of our latest COVID-19 survey in partnership with the Augustana Research Institute, which drew 500 responses from our readers.

By that point, you’d already told us how you feel about masking and vaccination, working from home and educating kids, mental health and more.

But the responses to the question about challenges probably told me the most of all, and they underscored why I believe no matter what the circumstances around us, the coming year has to be about the person looking back in the mirror and the people around us.

“Life can change day to day in an instant,” one person said. “One exposure and you’re suddenly without day care or out of work for two weeks at a moment’s notice. Missing family gatherings and social events is hard. I had to change my wedding due to COVID, which worked out OK, but it looked different than it was supposed to.”

Several talked about the struggles endured by elderly parents and their families unable to have in-person contact.

“Watching a happy parent decline due to isolation to the point where I had to move her from an assisted living facility to a nursing home and making all her life adjustments without the ability of in-person contact with her,” was the biggest challenge one person faced.

Multiple health care workers said mental health has been their biggest challenge.

“Anxiety,” one said. “It has been really hard to be a nurse and feel really misunderstood — we can adhere to guidelines yet be sensible and try to maintain community, but many people think we are crazy mask-shamers hiding in a hole, which is not true.”

Other people had challenges meeting basic needs. Paying bills and securing food were among the responses. Several mentioned reduced income and job loss.

Business owners had their own struggles.

“Dealing with being the owners of small restaurants if we get sick we have to close for a time, and the total loss of business,” one said.

And business leaders mentioned the challenge of trying to keep staff safe and manage across multiple locations.

And then there were significant impacts on relationships — not being able to see family and friends as you’d like, missing social clubs and holidays, “navigating how to communicate with my kids, who live in big cities, about the virus, protests and the election,” one person said.

An overriding theme involved the difficulty of handling how other people responded to COVID — whether it was content seen on social media, reactions in the real world or a lack of trust around credible information. It clearly took a toll on people.

“Watching friends and neighbors either believe or not that COVID-19 is real,” is what one respondent called the year’s biggest challenge. “The negative comments on social media and wondering if we will ever come together just as fellow Americans. We can only have hope, faith and respect for each other.”

I’m with you, whoever you are. Which is why I coined the phrase “the year of we and you” in the headline for today’s column.

That’s what 2021 has to be, if we’re to recover in all the ways we need to from the events of 2020. We, collectively, have been through so much tough stuff this year. I just read through more than 400 people’s personal struggles, and I know each one represents many others who didn’t take our survey. So if any of this sounds familiar, know that you are far from alone. And consider committing to giving yourself the space and support you need to get beyond that challenge in 2021. It’s too easy to dismiss our struggles by saying everyone had a tough year. That doesn’t diminish whatever personal toll it took on you or make it any less critical you find ways to take care of yourself in the year ahead.

And then there’s the “we” part of the “year of we and you.” Because just as 2021 should be about you, where you’re at in life and what your unique needs are, it also needs to be about “we.” And “we” in Sioux Falls have such an opportunity to emerge stronger in the year ahead. That doesn’t just mean those of us in business become stronger, either. It means we all do. There are strong forces at work in our community right now, and they’re working in parallel for both economic growth and social good. If you want to better yourself, your family or your business in Sioux Falls in 2021 or the years to come, there are going to be opportunities ahead and systems in place to support you that did not exist a year ago. We have to do our best to provide ways to ensure that the success of this community is shared success. The recent era of “us” and “them” has to give way to the year of “we” if we’re to say we’ve truly recovered from the events of 2020.

And in case you missed it, give the story below a read. There’s a lot of good to be grateful for, too, and I know there will be just as much coming for all of us in the year ahead.

Remembering the good: Sioux Falls shares 2020 moments, memories