Dec. 20, 2020

I probably should change how this is configured, but when our twice-weekly email newsletters are delivered, they’re connected to my email address.

So if readers ever want to send ideas or feedback, they just reply to the newsletter, and it goes directly to me.

I like hearing from readers, so please continue to use that feature if you receive our newsletter. And, if you don’t receive it and want to, look for the place at the bottom of this column where you can enter your name and email address.

All that said, this also means that when our subscribers have auto-reply messages set while they are out of the office, I get those too.

So now that we’ve grown in excess of 6,000 email subscribers, you can imagine what my inbox looks like twice per week — especially this time of year.

It looks like this.

I’m inundated with “away” messages.

And usually the goal is to delete them as quickly as possible, to make room for the other 1,000-plus emails in my inbox that I need to deal with at some point. I wish I were kidding.

Instead, more than a year ago, I started stopping occasionally to actually read what people put in their away messages. Most were what you’d expect. The basics: They’re not in the office, whether they’re checking email, when they plan to return and someone else’s contact information for urgent issues.

But some were especially memorable, so I created a file and started saving them for this eventual recap.

Enjoy some of the Sioux Falls business community’s best “away” messages of 2020. Names have been omitted to protect the innocent emailers who didn’t realize their auto-replies could end up being shared with the masses.

First, there was this guy, whose auto-reply hit my inbox in January:

“(PLEASE READ) Let’s Move you to the front of the line!” it began.

“Thank you so much for your email…… I WILL BE OUT OF THE OFFICE BEGINNING FRIDAY, JANUARY 24TH RETURNING MONDAY FEB 3RD. IN MY ABSENCE PLEASE READ BELOW

“Because your email is very important to me and I don’t want you to have to wait, please see below on how to get help right away!”

Then came the instructions. Lots of instructions. Instructions for new clients, those who needed certain documents and the intriguing ones who fell under the “I NEED HELP NOW!!!!” heading.

Great last line: “Thank you for your understanding as we work to create a more efficient process to better serve you!”

I saved an away message from one of my favorite, now retired, CEOs, whose auto-reply addressed his changing role.

“As I dial down further, I will likely not be as diligent about reading and following up on emails as I have been in the past. Please be patient with me, I will be checking my Inbox periodically, even though less frequently,” he wrote.

“You are welcome and encouraged to call or text my cell number. Thank you for understanding as I endeavor to find a new-normal!”

Some creative — mostly nonprofit — employees used their away messages to encourage email senders to learn more about their organizations and, of course, donate. Our friends in tourism encouraged people to think about taking a trip to their destination. Well, at least they did early in 2020.

One person whose away message appeared to apply to one day of paid time off left a list of 15 contacts for various needs along with 17 phone numbers.

Then, the away messages literally almost stopped.

From mid-March until probably June, barely anyone must have taken off work or been away from email. It was the biggest drop in away messages I’ve seen in nearly four years of running the newsletters.

And when they picked back up again, like everything else they had a 2020 twist.

“Did you know we are offering VIRTUAL PROGRAMMING. Curious about (our) events and programming? Interested in joining as a volunteer?” one message ended.

“I will try to address your email when I return. Wash your hands and stay healthy!” another said.

“Hello! I will be out of the office until later this week. Have a great whatever-today-is!”

And I think the prize for my favorite goes to this one (I know the author, so if you’re reading this, there actually might be a prize in it for you — email me, of course):

“Thanks for your email. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to read it or think about it until Monday, August 17 when I’m back from my much overdue, very socially-distanced, national parks vacation,” it began.

“In the meantime, I’ll be using that brain power to think about:

–A witty caption for my upcoming hiking with children Instagram post

–My next vacation, preferably not during a global pandemic

–The perfect gift to bring back to (co-worker), who you should email at (address) if you need a timely response.”

That’s a good idea — as there’s still time to leave those who covered your own email requests in your absence a thank-you to end this year like no other.

Thank you, all, for bringing that little diversion to my inbox this year. As is usually the case, it did pay to read before deleting.

Have a wonderful Christmas — and thank you as always for reading — at work or away.